Thursday, August 7, 2008

Pre-Marital Counselling

To be honest, Stephen and I didn't have pre-marital counselling. I phoned the clergyman who was marrying us and asked if we should meet before the wedding. He said, "I know Stephen and that's enough." At the time I thought I might actually be a factor in the success or failure of the marriage but the truth is Stephen could have married anyone and not waivered.
You can do a google search and pick your favourite bloggers on just about any topic - finance, communication, relationships, healthy living, etc., etc. Nobody believes that clergy have any more general knowledge about marriage than anyone else. The statistics for clergy marriages surviving are no better than that of the general population.
The only area that clergy know a bit more about is the theology of marriage but head knowledge without heart knowledge is straw not gold.
Do you know what a sacrament is? Do you know what a covenant is? Do you believe that God made you to be a blessing to each other and to the world? Will you both remain faithful to your vows? If either of you know of any reason why you should not marry, will you honestly state why the vows shouldn't be taken? Can you forgive and reconcile? Do you both want this marriage more than all the temptations and addictions with the power destroy it? Is your love greater than your personal ambition - if life gets too full and something has to go, will you keep the marriage and the children? Will you seek marital advise from the old and the wise rather than your peers? There will be a day when you stop fighting about the little things and start focusing on keeping each other alive because that person has become your life.

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