Thursday, June 28, 2012

Today is officially 6 months

I am so ready to heal and move on. Today my daughter and I ordered the monument for Stephen and my graves. It's pretty much identical to my grandparents', my parents' and my oldest brother & his widow's headstones. The only difference is that I want religious symbols instead of flowers on the top corners. Because marrying has fallen out of fashion, my maiden name will appear in brackets whereas in the past it was just assumed that the marital name at the top of the headstone was the woman's last name and the maiden name underneath was for clarification of who her parents were. As Stephen is buried in my family's cluster of plots, it helps explain why there's only one Demitroff in the cemetery. I also used full dates instead of just the year of birth and year of death because my mother was into genealogy in a big way and I've inherited 5 filing cabinet draws of her research notes. Don't have a clue what I'll do with the information. Think my mom was hoping I'd write a novel based on Lord Selkirk's Baldoon Settlement. My father used to walk the dike all the time looking for any holes created by the muskrats. Now that it's reverted back to wetlands, there's a pond instead of a field on one side of the dike and the river on the other side of the dike. Today it was my first day as the walker of the dike. I want the river wildlife to accept me as part of their ecosystem and that won't happen until they learn I can be trusted. Yesterday I wore a dress instead of jeans. I suppose it was because my mother and grandmother always wore dresses and I did too until I went to university. Girls weren't allowed to wear slacks to either elementary or high school during the '50s and '60s. Actually it was considered provocative if one had a jiggly bum so it was girdle or garter belts until some genius invented pantyhose. On a farm it was more like Jane Austen. My grandmother was born in 1880 so she was a Victorian and Victorians had to be ready at a moments notice to look like the farm could support ladies of leisure who read a lot, played the piano and raised money to keep the church doors open and send aid to even poorer women in other corners of the world. All those years of women's lib and this apple has rolled back under the tree it came from.

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