Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Fiddler on the Roof

My oldest son thinks I'm Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof. I have an ongoing dialogue with God where I Kvitch about every day stuff too boring for human ears. I suppose it's a sign of someone with existential aloneness. There's lots of really good, caring, involved people in my life but the closest relationship is the God/I one. It was that way as far back as I can possibly remember. My mom didn't like me bothering my dad because he had high blood pressure and she was terrified any stress might cause a heart attack or stroke and he was just as protective of her. My grandparents lived next door to us but they were more great-grandparent age and couldn't be upset about anything either. So basically I shared all my little girl problems with dogs and kittens and dolls and paperdolls. And, of course, there was always tv and sugary foods and dreaming to cheer oneself up. If everyone had to be protected from my little preschool problems, I suppose it's no wonder that when I need to talk, it's God I talk to. With all the big things happening in the world, nothing tragic is going to happen from anything I might say to God.

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