This quote is just too weird. "Parents and teens can live together fairly harmoniously if parents know what to expect and are willing to make some adjustments in the way they think and act."
Isn't this a little backwards?
When the kids were little all of their friends knew to the second how long to give me space after ticking me off. Kids are smart that way. They've got lots of time to observe you, test out your reactions, figure out exactly how much they can torment you until you make that first small movement toward stopping what you're doing to chase them all outside.
Kids looked like a bunch of bear cubs to me and I looked like an old mother bear to everyone. They knew I'd defend them with my life but I was more like a piece of geography - more like a mountain than something that would change to accommodate them. The mountain does not run to the child. The child runs to the mountain.