Need to Blog

How do you thank your 500 closest friends for all the help and support they provided at the time of your husband's death? The basket of cards, notebook of who brought what, registry from the funeral home, phone calls, volunteers who have been working on my new accommodations, people who stop me on the street and want to help has been overwhelming. And then there's the social networking crowd. I'm been really committed to MOOCs (massive online courses) since 2008 and all of them have been about forming personal learning networks in cyberspace.

There really is only 2 ways to handle this. I'm creating a mid-Lenten newsletter for those friends with known real world addresses. Included in the things my husband left me are over 600 sheets of Easter letterhead paper in a half dozen different styles and lots and lots of boxes of cards. Stephen was known for being excited about Christmas 365 days of the year but so far I've only found 100 sheets of Christmas letterhead and fewer boxes of Christmas cards than Easter cards so I guess spring was his season for looking at liturgical clothing and coming home instead with a package of paper. I guess that's the priestly equivalent of studying the latest styles and contenting oneself with some small item in the currently hot color.

On a larger scale, I've decided to return to blogging and talk about the little discussed topic of grief. It's really important to do so because the next big money maker for the pharmaceutical companies is convincing the medical establishment to include grief extending beyond 2 months in the compendium of psychiatric disorders that require a prescription. This is foolhardy because grief is one of those times when neuro-plasticity kicks in and the brain forms all kinds of new connections the leave one more than a bit wiser. It's really a lot like coming home with a new baby - a totally new world view requiring an amazingly large number of new skills. Mostly you wonder how you could have spent your entire life surrounded by widows and have no idea that you were entering a life phase which would give you a new perspective on everything.

In addition to widowhood, I've also had a total hysterectomy, turned 60, am receiving forms about my retirement when I haven't had a job since 1984, am moving from parish housing to my childhood community and am expecting to have an empty nest soon so I'm not even going to pretend to be able to sort out which change is related to which life event.

So click the link to Martha Beck's blog article about what she has learned from skiing - an activity I could learn nothing about without bloggers as I had a serious knee injury when I was in elementary school. http://marthabeck.com/2012/03/choosing-a-line-insight-from-martha/
What I need at the moment is the line of insight that will show me how to get from the rectory to my own house. Stephen was always the one excited about the new possibilities that would open up with a change of parish. He would go into overdrive and do all the moving stuff. My stuff would get purged; his stuff would get moved. He'd work like a whirling, twirling Dervish and I'd get into the car on moving day. I wasn't one to throw out anyone's stuff but my own. So this whole sorting through Stephen's things and organizing a move is totally new and as exciting as baby throw-up and stinking diapers. If he'd had any warning whatsoever that he was about to die, he would have been excited about the journey he was about to embark on and have down his whirling, twirling Dervish tossing, cleaning, moving thing and I could just have dealt with what he hadn't tossed of my stuff.

Friends of the Library

Friends of the Library are providing a tea each day this week for groups that frequent the library. Yesterday was book club. We were discussing the Novel "The Historian" by Elizabeth Kostova. The Friends waited patiently until we finally paused to bring out the tea, juice, platter of fruit slices, and platter of cookies/brownies. Unfortunately a sip of the tea created a second wind and we launched into a flood of book, movie and tv show recommendations. So the lovely friends sat at the table behind us and waited for almost another hour before they could gather up their leftover offerings and go home. Although I'm sure it was annoying, everyone is friends with everyone else so no doubt all will be forgiven.

Some of us from book club will be back today as the library has asked the calligraphy club to come in to create a display and do some calligraphy. This time the Friends of the Library who agreed to serve tea and goodies happen to be members of the Calligraphy Guild. So if we should get a second wind of enthusiasm from a sip of tea, it will be without that tiny bit of social awkwardness attached.

Life Coach: Philip E. Humbert

Click on the title and you'll connect to Philip Humbert's newsletter archive. He has newsletters going back to 2002. As he was a minister before becoming a coach, I feel that I have a sense of where he's coming from. I've never actually used a coach myself but I've been aware of the coaching movement back to its earliest days on the web. Coaches specialize in different fields - some are business coaches, some specialize in interpersonal relationships, etc.

Need Space to Think

I'm off tomorrow to Antrim, N.S. Think it has a couple of other names but Antrim is what the post office uses. Let's just say that even with directions and a GPS, it's hard to find. Don't have a return ticket because I don't know how long I'll be there.

Waka Waka This Time for Africa

Waka Waka This Time for Africa is my favourite motivational video. Odd as I've never played a contact sport in my life. My dad wouldn't even let my brothers' play sports. He needed their work on the farm too much to risk unnecessary injuries. We took the bus to high school. It waited long enough for us to participate in afternoon clubs but definitely not athletics.

Adult Children

I used to write about my children on this blog. Now the majority of them are married and parents, I'm not comfortable doing that. I've made the transition from considering them my family to recognizing them as their own families. If they choose to tell their stories, they'll have to write to their own blog. I'm now the observer rather than the creator of a child's universe.

New Granddaughter

I'm going from no grandchildren to lots of grandchildren. The first grandbaby was born in May 2010. The second grandbaby arrived in the spring of 2011. The third grandbaby is coming in the summer of 2011. The first 3 are all girls which thrills me as I had mainly boys. The 4th grandbaby is due at the end of 2011. We have to wait until that baby arrives to discover the sex. Grandparenting still feels very new to us. Haven't figured out what we consider the role of grandparents. I'm thinking along the terms of "My Grandfather's Blessings: Stories of Strength, Refuge, and Blessings" by Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.